Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
My post about Blogher Bullshit
As we ALL know Blogher 09 was this past weekend.
I think it was pretty cool to be a non-participant and follow people on twitter and their blogs on what was going on.
It was fun. Until I starting reading tweets about those of us that were following and not actually there, as being "left out" and "excluded"
But NOT ONCE did I feel "left out" or "excluded".
WTF is that bullshit?
For real? Just because I didn't get a free t-shirt, or a free dildo, or a bag of free crap with coupons? Cause I wasn't getting drunk with you at some hotel party? Just cause I was interested in how you were having a great time, I'm "left out"?
Get the fuck outta here.
I have a life. And just cause Blogher 09 was happening didn't mean that my life stopped to watch all the crap that you people were doing in Chicago.
Here's my take on the situation - you PAID a lot of your hard earned money to go to Blogher. It's not cheap. YOU DESERVED to get all the swag and brag about it! You deserved to tweet and blog about how much fun you had and how great this that and the other thing were. I'm GLAD you did, I enjoyed hearing about it, before this being "left out" shit started, I actually considered going to Blogher 10 cause its in my freakin backyard.
But now, I'm not so sure. Do I want to be part of that Blogher Clique? Maybe not. Do I want my vagina in an uproar over a stupid t-shirt? While that will never happen, it blows my mind that it did.
It just blows my mind that there were such narrow minded individuals that think how awful my life must have been because I wasn't in Chicago. PPPPPPPPPPhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhttttttttt! Bite me.
I had a freakin FANTASTIC weekend. I had a blast. Spent a day in NYC with a great friend, had an amazing dinner, and time with my husband and ya know what all you estrogen crazy women MISSED OUT, and were EXCLUDED from MY weekend. Every freakin weekend. How's that?
I think it was pretty cool to be a non-participant and follow people on twitter and their blogs on what was going on.
It was fun. Until I starting reading tweets about those of us that were following and not actually there, as being "left out" and "excluded"
But NOT ONCE did I feel "left out" or "excluded".
WTF is that bullshit?
For real? Just because I didn't get a free t-shirt, or a free dildo, or a bag of free crap with coupons? Cause I wasn't getting drunk with you at some hotel party? Just cause I was interested in how you were having a great time, I'm "left out"?
Get the fuck outta here.
I have a life. And just cause Blogher 09 was happening didn't mean that my life stopped to watch all the crap that you people were doing in Chicago.
Here's my take on the situation - you PAID a lot of your hard earned money to go to Blogher. It's not cheap. YOU DESERVED to get all the swag and brag about it! You deserved to tweet and blog about how much fun you had and how great this that and the other thing were. I'm GLAD you did, I enjoyed hearing about it, before this being "left out" shit started, I actually considered going to Blogher 10 cause its in my freakin backyard.
But now, I'm not so sure. Do I want to be part of that Blogher Clique? Maybe not. Do I want my vagina in an uproar over a stupid t-shirt? While that will never happen, it blows my mind that it did.
It just blows my mind that there were such narrow minded individuals that think how awful my life must have been because I wasn't in Chicago. PPPPPPPPPPhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhttttttttt! Bite me.
I had a freakin FANTASTIC weekend. I had a blast. Spent a day in NYC with a great friend, had an amazing dinner, and time with my husband and ya know what all you estrogen crazy women MISSED OUT, and were EXCLUDED from MY weekend. Every freakin weekend. How's that?
Friday, July 24, 2009
Skywatch Friday
Scenes from the passenger seat
Another shot that Chris took on our way to Kentucky. She was the passenger! This was taken somewhere in Ohio.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
One Brain
I normally don't talk about my relationship with my husband, because I seem to come off bitchy. But after reading MommaSunshine and Canadian Bald Guy's posts this morning, and twittering with them that it was NOT planned, it reminded me of a few things in my relationship that I am very proud of and that make me very happy.
First off is the One Brain situation. MommaSunshine and Canadian Bald Guy did not PLAN on writing about the same thing, it just kinda of happened to them. They got that One Brain connection going on.
Scott will sometimes do something for me that I never even said out loud. Then he'll say "Didn't you just ask me to do that?" And my answer usually is "I was thinking it... " I can't tell you how many times that has happened to both of us.
Alot of times, neither of us even finishes our sentences because we know what the end is before the other one even gets to it. One Brain.
This One Brain phenomena is part of why we love each other so much.
The other thing I'm going to bring up is trust and knowledge, this really has nothing to do with One Brain, but it's a big reason I broke my "I'll never get married" stand and got married.
Scott & I tell each other EVERYTHING. We have no secrets. We don't hide stuff. That's not us. Oh, we've tried to tell each other a lie or two, and it just doesn't work, we CAN'T lie to each other! It's strange. Hasn't happened in a long long time, because we would bust each other immediately. When that happened, we both knew there is no point. Just be honest.
It's an amazing concept. And works wonders. Go figure. Honesty.
Scott was helping a friend with some work at his house on Sunday and Monday. We'll call the friend Fred (name changed). Fred has a girlfriend he's been with a long time, and they have 2 children together.
While Scott was over at Fred's on Monday, I texted him asking how his day was going. He texted me back what was going on. Fred's Gfriend said to him "Are you texting her a picture of where you are so she believes you?" Scott said "No, she knows where I am." Gfriend says "Oh, I never believe Fred when he tells me where he's going or what he's doing." Scott was pretty shocked. He told her flat out that neither of us have any worry about that type of thing. It isn't an issue.
Then she said "Are you going to send her a text telling her your girlfriend is standing 3 feet away holding your beer?"
He flat out said "uh, no.. "
I never worry or honestly care where he goes or what he does. I know that no matter what, he's not going to lie to me and he'll always come home. Because I am secure that he loves me and would never do anything to hurt me intentionally.
He came home and told me all that. I just laughed and sat there amazed thinking "How can you be in a serious relationship with someone you just don't trust?" I don't get it.
I told him if he had texted about his girlfriend holding a beer I would have texted back "Is she wearing a bikini? If so send pictures." Cause that's how I am.
2nd Situation that makes me glad I trust my husband, and that we are 100% honest with each other... We know these 2 people, I'll call them Ricky & Lucy. They are a very nice couple and we enjoy their company. Well, I happen to know about Ricky's lets say, history. I know things he's done and not done in the past.
One day I was having a conversation with Lucy and I mentioned something that had occurred in the past to Ricky. She looked at me like I was a two headed freak with a penis coming out of my forehead.
She had no clue.
Turns out she HAS no clue at all about what he did. (nothing really bad - lets just lay that out there now). And that he hides a ton of shit from her now.
Can you say my mouth flew shut faster then a shutter door in a hurricane? And I have kept it shut since.
Again, I am very thankful that Scott & I are 100% honest with each other...
Being involved with another person is never easy. It takes patience, love, honesty, and forgiveness. I'm not going to sit here and say Scott and I are all fairy tale happy. We're happy, but like everyone else, we have our moments. Our fights. Days where we just want to be left alone. Days where we love each other, but don't really like each other. It happens to everyone.
But I just can't imagine a relationship where trust and honesty are issues. Why bother then?
First off is the One Brain situation. MommaSunshine and Canadian Bald Guy did not PLAN on writing about the same thing, it just kinda of happened to them. They got that One Brain connection going on.
Scott will sometimes do something for me that I never even said out loud. Then he'll say "Didn't you just ask me to do that?" And my answer usually is "I was thinking it... " I can't tell you how many times that has happened to both of us.
Alot of times, neither of us even finishes our sentences because we know what the end is before the other one even gets to it. One Brain.
This One Brain phenomena is part of why we love each other so much.
The other thing I'm going to bring up is trust and knowledge, this really has nothing to do with One Brain, but it's a big reason I broke my "I'll never get married" stand and got married.
Scott & I tell each other EVERYTHING. We have no secrets. We don't hide stuff. That's not us. Oh, we've tried to tell each other a lie or two, and it just doesn't work, we CAN'T lie to each other! It's strange. Hasn't happened in a long long time, because we would bust each other immediately. When that happened, we both knew there is no point. Just be honest.
It's an amazing concept. And works wonders. Go figure. Honesty.
Scott was helping a friend with some work at his house on Sunday and Monday. We'll call the friend Fred (name changed). Fred has a girlfriend he's been with a long time, and they have 2 children together.
While Scott was over at Fred's on Monday, I texted him asking how his day was going. He texted me back what was going on. Fred's Gfriend said to him "Are you texting her a picture of where you are so she believes you?" Scott said "No, she knows where I am." Gfriend says "Oh, I never believe Fred when he tells me where he's going or what he's doing." Scott was pretty shocked. He told her flat out that neither of us have any worry about that type of thing. It isn't an issue.
Then she said "Are you going to send her a text telling her your girlfriend is standing 3 feet away holding your beer?"
He flat out said "uh, no.. "
I never worry or honestly care where he goes or what he does. I know that no matter what, he's not going to lie to me and he'll always come home. Because I am secure that he loves me and would never do anything to hurt me intentionally.
He came home and told me all that. I just laughed and sat there amazed thinking "How can you be in a serious relationship with someone you just don't trust?" I don't get it.
I told him if he had texted about his girlfriend holding a beer I would have texted back "Is she wearing a bikini? If so send pictures." Cause that's how I am.
2nd Situation that makes me glad I trust my husband, and that we are 100% honest with each other... We know these 2 people, I'll call them Ricky & Lucy. They are a very nice couple and we enjoy their company. Well, I happen to know about Ricky's lets say, history. I know things he's done and not done in the past.
One day I was having a conversation with Lucy and I mentioned something that had occurred in the past to Ricky. She looked at me like I was a two headed freak with a penis coming out of my forehead.
She had no clue.
Turns out she HAS no clue at all about what he did. (nothing really bad - lets just lay that out there now). And that he hides a ton of shit from her now.
Can you say my mouth flew shut faster then a shutter door in a hurricane? And I have kept it shut since.
Again, I am very thankful that Scott & I are 100% honest with each other...
Being involved with another person is never easy. It takes patience, love, honesty, and forgiveness. I'm not going to sit here and say Scott and I are all fairy tale happy. We're happy, but like everyone else, we have our moments. Our fights. Days where we just want to be left alone. Days where we love each other, but don't really like each other. It happens to everyone.
But I just can't imagine a relationship where trust and honesty are issues. Why bother then?
*** And don't forget about being a fairy or sending me your pants ***
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
The Bandwagon
I don't usually do these things, but this one has been going around a bit, and encouraged by SybilLaw I thought I'd throw my hat in, and get on the bandwagon.
Ten Things I wish I Could Say or that I Should Say to Certain People:
1. You're a Jackass
2. You're a Jackass
3. You're a Jackass
4. You're a Jackass
5. You're a Jackass
6. You're a Jackass
7. You're a Jackass
8. You're a Jackass
9. You - you're a dumbass train wreck
10. And you - you're a mother fucker
Wow. I feel so much better now. It's so good to get that out.
And yeah, #2, #5 and #8 are all about you.
Ten Things I wish I Could Say or that I Should Say to Certain People:
1. You're a Jackass
2. You're a Jackass
3. You're a Jackass
4. You're a Jackass
5. You're a Jackass
6. You're a Jackass
7. You're a Jackass
8. You're a Jackass
9. You - you're a dumbass train wreck
10. And you - you're a mother fucker
Wow. I feel so much better now. It's so good to get that out.
And yeah, #2, #5 and #8 are all about you.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Damn updates
I seem to have fallen into this "Monday Updates" thing.. except this Monday, I really don't have much to tell.
We spent the weekend being lazy, just doing chores and watching ALOT of golf. Yes, I totally love watching golf. And this was a good weekend for it!
Went to our friends house Saturday night for dogs and burgers and a movie. This movie is awesome. I can't remember who mentioned it on their blog a month or so ago, but it was so worth watching twice! If you haven't seen Interstate 60 I recommend you do so. NOW. We had to watch it 3x before Netflix could have it back. Now I must own it. I shall find it soon.
Nothing big got accomplished. Nothing major happened. We really weren't exciting in any way whatsoever.
Didn't sleep too well with the CPAP this weekend, but it is getting better. Just have to get the adjustments down so it doesn't keep me up. I am able to sleep with it on longer and longer every few days which has been a tremendous joy.
I'm headed up to NYC this Saturday to visit with probably my favorite person in the universe to just sit and yap and relax with, the lovely, talented, amazing, Daryl. I miss her so much! It's been way to long since I've seen her last. I'm totally stoked.
And he doesn't know it yet, but I'm going to see if Marty wants to have a late lunch or meet for a drink or something, cause he's totally awesome too. I better go email him now. heh.
I do want to remind everyone to read last Monday's post, because if you haven't - you don't know what you're gonna be missing next week!
I'm still waiting for someone to offer to send me their pants. Anyone? Anyone?
We spent the weekend being lazy, just doing chores and watching ALOT of golf. Yes, I totally love watching golf. And this was a good weekend for it!
Went to our friends house Saturday night for dogs and burgers and a movie. This movie is awesome. I can't remember who mentioned it on their blog a month or so ago, but it was so worth watching twice! If you haven't seen Interstate 60 I recommend you do so. NOW. We had to watch it 3x before Netflix could have it back. Now I must own it. I shall find it soon.
Nothing big got accomplished. Nothing major happened. We really weren't exciting in any way whatsoever.
Didn't sleep too well with the CPAP this weekend, but it is getting better. Just have to get the adjustments down so it doesn't keep me up. I am able to sleep with it on longer and longer every few days which has been a tremendous joy.
I'm headed up to NYC this Saturday to visit with probably my favorite person in the universe to just sit and yap and relax with, the lovely, talented, amazing, Daryl. I miss her so much! It's been way to long since I've seen her last. I'm totally stoked.
And he doesn't know it yet, but I'm going to see if Marty wants to have a late lunch or meet for a drink or something, cause he's totally awesome too. I better go email him now. heh.
I do want to remind everyone to read last Monday's post, because if you haven't - you don't know what you're gonna be missing next week!
I'm still waiting for someone to offer to send me their pants. Anyone? Anyone?
Friday, July 17, 2009
Skywatch Friday
Scenes from the passenger seat
Another shot that Chris took on our way to Kentucky. She was the passenger! This was taken outside Dayton, OH. We had been through quite a bit of storm at that point, and this was the next one coming.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
As Requested...
Yesterday I had to wear a skirt to work and 'dress professional' because we had some bigwigs coming through the office. Going from wearing jeans, tshirts and flip flops to business wear wasn't a big deal to me. I have it in the closet.
Was I surprised when a bunch of you asked for pictures of me in a skirt!
On top of that people have been asking me for pictures of me in my CPAP mask.
So in order to please everyone..... here ya go.
Was I surprised when a bunch of you asked for pictures of me in a skirt!
On top of that people have been asking me for pictures of me in my CPAP mask.
So in order to please everyone..... here ya go.
Scott thought the helmet really made a good add to the picture. If you really want to see me in a skirt, go right here.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
The last year before I REALLY have to grow up, I think
At the end of this month I will be 39 years old. Shit, I never thought I'd live past 30.
I remember being a kid, playing with my little brother, and thinking "WOW! In the year 2000, I'm going to be 30! And you'll be 26!" and we thought that was soooooooooo old. Yeah, we're all stupid at that age.. not that we aren't now too. hee..hee..
Here were are 2009, and on July 31st I will be turning 39.
And I'm inviting you all to join me on August 1 at the Tiki Bar for drinks dinner and general hilarity. Cause I love going to Tiki for my birthday. Hell, I just love going. Birthday's are just an excuse. I have a thing for Tiki.
Now before you get all "I can't come! What are you nuts?" I have to explain how this invitation works. You don't have to physically be here to enjoy my birthday with me at Tiki Bar.
See, I have this thing for Fairies (you really should click on that one if this post is going to make any sense at all to you past this point)
I like to take them places. Like Hershey Park. And I know they LOVE coming with us to tiki... Holly at Tiki.
So here is the open invitation.. come to Tiki with me and my pals for my birthday dinner. All I need you to do, is email me a headshot so I can turn YOU into a fairy. And if you're a guy, don't worry.. .we'll make you like a knight or something like that.
And if you don't want to be a fairy, you can always just mail me your pants. I'd be happy to have them join us. (if you don't click on any other link in this post - click that one!)
Hey - if you WANT to come to PA for the weekend and REAL LIVE tiki, you are more then welcome. We have floor space. :)
I remember being a kid, playing with my little brother, and thinking "WOW! In the year 2000, I'm going to be 30! And you'll be 26!" and we thought that was soooooooooo old. Yeah, we're all stupid at that age.. not that we aren't now too. hee..hee..
Here were are 2009, and on July 31st I will be turning 39.
And I'm inviting you all to join me on August 1 at the Tiki Bar for drinks dinner and general hilarity. Cause I love going to Tiki for my birthday. Hell, I just love going. Birthday's are just an excuse. I have a thing for Tiki.
Now before you get all "I can't come! What are you nuts?" I have to explain how this invitation works. You don't have to physically be here to enjoy my birthday with me at Tiki Bar.
See, I have this thing for Fairies (you really should click on that one if this post is going to make any sense at all to you past this point)
I like to take them places. Like Hershey Park. And I know they LOVE coming with us to tiki... Holly at Tiki.
So here is the open invitation.. come to Tiki with me and my pals for my birthday dinner. All I need you to do, is email me a headshot so I can turn YOU into a fairy. And if you're a guy, don't worry.. .we'll make you like a knight or something like that.
And if you don't want to be a fairy, you can always just mail me your pants. I'd be happy to have them join us. (if you don't click on any other link in this post - click that one!)
Hey - if you WANT to come to PA for the weekend and REAL LIVE tiki, you are more then welcome. We have floor space. :)
DEADLINE FOR YOU TO SEND HEADSHOT AND/OR PANTS: FRIDAY JULY 24TH!
Monday, July 13, 2009
Sleep update
I finally got the CPAP machine on Friday. Had to drive about 2 hours out of my way to pick it up or I probably never would have gotten it at all.
Friday night I slept for 7 hours with the thing on, woke up at 8am and felt well, pretty good. So I decided to stay in bed and be lazy and lay around til 12. That was really nice.
Saturday I seemed to have all kinds of problems with the damn thing and didn't get much sleep nor sleep with the stupid thing on much.
Last night, I had it on, couldn't get to sleep to save my life, took it off, fell asleep, woke up, put it back on, slept with it on for about 3 hours. I probably could have slept much longer, but that freakin alarm clock went off and I had to get up for work.
I'm working on it. It's not as easy to adjust to it as I would like. I do sleep better with it on, that part is clear already.
Most of the cats don't care and just look at me funny, but MoMo and Karma seem to be afraid of me when I have that thing on. It's pretty funny. Yes, there will be pictures, but not today.
Took a break this weekend. Didn't have the internets at my fingertips, and my phone no longer tweets (which is KILLING ME) but hey, I had a life before that! Yeah, I know it wasn't as much fun, but what am I gonna do?
Realized my phone is so old that it only holds about 20 text messages (compared to the 300 my other phone would hold), so I had to turn all notifications off for Twitter. It was like pulling my eye ball out. It was hard to do, but done, and I kept missing it all weekend.. until Sunday, when I went to the store w/o my phone and thought "Hey, no twitter, so, who cares!" and don't think I saw my phone the rest of the day either.
Ok, I lie like a rug, I am jonesing for a new freakin phone so I can tweet from there again. And I'm not eligible for upgrade til December. Oy!
Anyway, that's about all I got for this Monday the 13th.
Friday night I slept for 7 hours with the thing on, woke up at 8am and felt well, pretty good. So I decided to stay in bed and be lazy and lay around til 12. That was really nice.
Saturday I seemed to have all kinds of problems with the damn thing and didn't get much sleep nor sleep with the stupid thing on much.
Last night, I had it on, couldn't get to sleep to save my life, took it off, fell asleep, woke up, put it back on, slept with it on for about 3 hours. I probably could have slept much longer, but that freakin alarm clock went off and I had to get up for work.
I'm working on it. It's not as easy to adjust to it as I would like. I do sleep better with it on, that part is clear already.
Most of the cats don't care and just look at me funny, but MoMo and Karma seem to be afraid of me when I have that thing on. It's pretty funny. Yes, there will be pictures, but not today.
Took a break this weekend. Didn't have the internets at my fingertips, and my phone no longer tweets (which is KILLING ME) but hey, I had a life before that! Yeah, I know it wasn't as much fun, but what am I gonna do?
Realized my phone is so old that it only holds about 20 text messages (compared to the 300 my other phone would hold), so I had to turn all notifications off for Twitter. It was like pulling my eye ball out. It was hard to do, but done, and I kept missing it all weekend.. until Sunday, when I went to the store w/o my phone and thought "Hey, no twitter, so, who cares!" and don't think I saw my phone the rest of the day either.
Ok, I lie like a rug, I am jonesing for a new freakin phone so I can tweet from there again. And I'm not eligible for upgrade til December. Oy!
Anyway, that's about all I got for this Monday the 13th.
Tune in tomorrow for a special announcement! Big News! Tons of fun involved! And YOU TOO can participate!
Friday, July 10, 2009
SkyWatch Friday
Scenes from the passenger seat
And no, I have no clue where Florence is Y'all. It's somewhere past PA, before KY.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Roller Coaster
Sometimes I do not understand this roller coaster I am on. It confuses me and scares me.
Today, I feel ok. About 10 thousand times better then I did yesterday. And yeah, it scares me. I went from a super super low day, to I don't want to say high day, but a helluva lot better one.
I was very overwhelmed yesterday, and the blows just kept coming. I felt like I had to fight for the right to breathe, and the breaths weren't coming.
I wish I understood this better. I wish I knew why I get that way, and how to NOT get that way. I guess that is why I keep seeing doctors and a therapist. Cause I don't get it. And I don't know how to deal with it well.
Am I afraid to be happy? I think that sometimes I am. That I don't feel right having a great day, such a wonderful life, house and husband.
Work continues on all of this. In the meantime, I really do appreciate your comments, emails and show of support. 2 years ago, I would have been 10x worse then I was yesterday, but now, I have all of you. And that means a lot and helps me in so many more ways then I could ever imagine.
Today, after about 2 hours of sleep last night, I'm gonna ride this high. And know that its ok to be happy, and when the shit starts coming my way? I'm ducking. It's not hitting me today. I won't let it. I need to smile.
Today, I feel ok. About 10 thousand times better then I did yesterday. And yeah, it scares me. I went from a super super low day, to I don't want to say high day, but a helluva lot better one.
I was very overwhelmed yesterday, and the blows just kept coming. I felt like I had to fight for the right to breathe, and the breaths weren't coming.
I wish I understood this better. I wish I knew why I get that way, and how to NOT get that way. I guess that is why I keep seeing doctors and a therapist. Cause I don't get it. And I don't know how to deal with it well.
Am I afraid to be happy? I think that sometimes I am. That I don't feel right having a great day, such a wonderful life, house and husband.
Work continues on all of this. In the meantime, I really do appreciate your comments, emails and show of support. 2 years ago, I would have been 10x worse then I was yesterday, but now, I have all of you. And that means a lot and helps me in so many more ways then I could ever imagine.
Today, after about 2 hours of sleep last night, I'm gonna ride this high. And know that its ok to be happy, and when the shit starts coming my way? I'm ducking. It's not hitting me today. I won't let it. I need to smile.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Wenesday full of Words
I know it's Wordless Wednesday, and I usually participate, but I haven't posted yet this week, so I'm doing that instead.
I'm exhausted. Remember that damn Strap On I was so excited for? Well, I'm getting dicked around by the company that provides them. I was supposed to have it June 29th. Got a call that day, "Oh we will call you tomorrow". Never called. I called on July 1st. Was told they double ordered the machine and it was sent to the wrong office. They would call me Monday, July 6th, as the other office was overnighting it, but the holiday.. ya know. Ok.
Monday. No call. I called them. Was told they would call me right back. Guess what. I got a call yesterday (Tuesday, July 7th) at 4:30pm.
Basically, they never ordered the machine. I won't get into their long rambling explanation of warehouses and back orders and priorities (I'm supposed to be a #1 priority). But now it's "sometime next week". Yeah, they apologized, and were nice, but I'm just at the end of my rope.
I feel like one of those old cartoon horses with the carrot dangling in front of me, that I'll never reach.
And now for a bad seque..
Scott is doing well. Went for his follow up for surgery yesterday. Can go back to light duty work (if they have any for him) next week. Can also start driving again, and lifting anything under 100lbs.
I gotta tell you. I'm a spoiled bitch.
I have had to do all of his chores and mine the past two weeks. I can't even keep up. It's insane. Now, I lived alone for years and years and years, and did all these same things just for myself, and had no problems. So I don't quite get why I can't keep up now. But hey, I have come to appreciate what he does way more now.
Hell, I can't even get the lawn mowed. I have to hit up BIL to do it.
And that is why I feel like a total failure these days on top of everything else. I failed. I let myself and my husband/house down. I'm struggling to keep it together.
That is not helping me keep my mental health on the right track either. The overwhelming feelings are well, overwhelming! I feel buried.
Of course that all starts to spiral out of control to other things.
I'm starting a slight paranoia of "Oh shit. What am I doing? I'm forcing people to be my friends! Ok, back off." So I'm crawling into my hermit crab shell for a little bit. I'm freaking out over stupid shit. Blogs and tweets that have nothing to do with me at all, for some reason are just making me wonder. HELLO STUPID! I know they're not, but like I said STUPID. If you see me, you'll see I have the big ole "L" etched into my forehead right now.
I know you're all tired of hearing it. I seem to come here whenever I'm losing my mind and dump it all out. Sorry, but that's how it is today.
And I get to end this day by going to the gynecologist. Oh I can't wait.
Happy Hump Day!
ps. Squeak! has gone the way of the dumpster.... they got him. And a few of his brothers and cousins. Go kitties!
I'm exhausted. Remember that damn Strap On I was so excited for? Well, I'm getting dicked around by the company that provides them. I was supposed to have it June 29th. Got a call that day, "Oh we will call you tomorrow". Never called. I called on July 1st. Was told they double ordered the machine and it was sent to the wrong office. They would call me Monday, July 6th, as the other office was overnighting it, but the holiday.. ya know. Ok.
Monday. No call. I called them. Was told they would call me right back. Guess what. I got a call yesterday (Tuesday, July 7th) at 4:30pm.
Basically, they never ordered the machine. I won't get into their long rambling explanation of warehouses and back orders and priorities (I'm supposed to be a #1 priority). But now it's "sometime next week". Yeah, they apologized, and were nice, but I'm just at the end of my rope.
I feel like one of those old cartoon horses with the carrot dangling in front of me, that I'll never reach.
And now for a bad seque..
Scott is doing well. Went for his follow up for surgery yesterday. Can go back to light duty work (if they have any for him) next week. Can also start driving again, and lifting anything under 100lbs.
I gotta tell you. I'm a spoiled bitch.
I have had to do all of his chores and mine the past two weeks. I can't even keep up. It's insane. Now, I lived alone for years and years and years, and did all these same things just for myself, and had no problems. So I don't quite get why I can't keep up now. But hey, I have come to appreciate what he does way more now.
Hell, I can't even get the lawn mowed. I have to hit up BIL to do it.
And that is why I feel like a total failure these days on top of everything else. I failed. I let myself and my husband/house down. I'm struggling to keep it together.
That is not helping me keep my mental health on the right track either. The overwhelming feelings are well, overwhelming! I feel buried.
Of course that all starts to spiral out of control to other things.
I'm starting a slight paranoia of "Oh shit. What am I doing? I'm forcing people to be my friends! Ok, back off." So I'm crawling into my hermit crab shell for a little bit. I'm freaking out over stupid shit. Blogs and tweets that have nothing to do with me at all, for some reason are just making me wonder. HELLO STUPID! I know they're not, but like I said STUPID. If you see me, you'll see I have the big ole "L" etched into my forehead right now.
I know you're all tired of hearing it. I seem to come here whenever I'm losing my mind and dump it all out. Sorry, but that's how it is today.
And I get to end this day by going to the gynecologist. Oh I can't wait.
Happy Hump Day!
ps. Squeak! has gone the way of the dumpster.... they got him. And a few of his brothers and cousins. Go kitties!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Squeak! Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!
I have absolutely nothing for Wordless Wednesday. Well, I do but the pics aren't uploaded anywhere I can get to them right now. So I give you the tale of Squeak! instead.
As you know, I have severe sleep apnea. Bottom line is I wake up about every hour on the hour or more. Last night was no different (no I don't have my strap on yet!). It was a beautiful evening, so the kitties were all outside. And they did not want to come in.
Scott was on the couch, recovering, and watching the DVR of his baseball game when I went to bed about 9. I told him the kitties were out and wouldn't come in, he'd have to get them later.
I was up about 10:30, I tried to get them in. One came in. Ok. 3 to go. I went back to bed. I was a little worried because baby Karma was still out. I told Scott to make sure he got her in.
I woke up about midnight, and decided I had to pee. As I cross the hall, Scott says "I got all the cats in." I said "even baby?" he said "Yes."
Ok, I go sit on the throne to do my thing, baby comes into the bathroom (she always does). All the sudden I hear this loud non stop Squeak! Squeak! Squeak! I look over and there is something dark in the corner (I don't turn the light on) and it wasn't Cleetus! It was a REAL MOUSE! Squeakin his little heart out tearing around the bathroom, being chased by Karma.
Of course I scream, "Holy shit! It's a mouse!" and put my feet up on the edge of the tub. Now, in all honesty, I have to tell you, I don't wear PJ's to sleep. So I'm butt ass naked on the toilet, with my feet on the tub. Scott comes tearing in the bathroom, turns on the light and closes the door.
He then proceeds to grab paper towels and chase this little tiny mouse around the bathroom, and toilet, while also trying to keep Karma from getting it. While I sit there with my bare ass and feet on the edge of the tub.
Eventually, Squeak! (that's his name), ran behind the toilet and was back there Squeak! Squeak! Squeakin his little heart out! Scott looks at me, and says "Think you could get off the toilet?" I said "sure." So I get up and go stand by the door.
He chases little Squeak! around a few more times, finally catches him with his bare hands, and runs outside and drops him in the garden.
After my fit of laughter is over. I go back to bed.
Karma spent the next 10 minutes or so digging behind the toilet looking for her midnight snack.
And honestly, I'm still laughing.
Squeak! Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!
I have a feeling we'll be seeing him again.
As you know, I have severe sleep apnea. Bottom line is I wake up about every hour on the hour or more. Last night was no different (no I don't have my strap on yet!). It was a beautiful evening, so the kitties were all outside. And they did not want to come in.
Scott was on the couch, recovering, and watching the DVR of his baseball game when I went to bed about 9. I told him the kitties were out and wouldn't come in, he'd have to get them later.
I was up about 10:30, I tried to get them in. One came in. Ok. 3 to go. I went back to bed. I was a little worried because baby Karma was still out. I told Scott to make sure he got her in.
I woke up about midnight, and decided I had to pee. As I cross the hall, Scott says "I got all the cats in." I said "even baby?" he said "Yes."
Ok, I go sit on the throne to do my thing, baby comes into the bathroom (she always does). All the sudden I hear this loud non stop Squeak! Squeak! Squeak! I look over and there is something dark in the corner (I don't turn the light on) and it wasn't Cleetus! It was a REAL MOUSE! Squeakin his little heart out tearing around the bathroom, being chased by Karma.
Of course I scream, "Holy shit! It's a mouse!" and put my feet up on the edge of the tub. Now, in all honesty, I have to tell you, I don't wear PJ's to sleep. So I'm butt ass naked on the toilet, with my feet on the tub. Scott comes tearing in the bathroom, turns on the light and closes the door.
He then proceeds to grab paper towels and chase this little tiny mouse around the bathroom, and toilet, while also trying to keep Karma from getting it. While I sit there with my bare ass and feet on the edge of the tub.
Eventually, Squeak! (that's his name), ran behind the toilet and was back there Squeak! Squeak! Squeakin his little heart out! Scott looks at me, and says "Think you could get off the toilet?" I said "sure." So I get up and go stand by the door.
He chases little Squeak! around a few more times, finally catches him with his bare hands, and runs outside and drops him in the garden.
After my fit of laughter is over. I go back to bed.
Karma spent the next 10 minutes or so digging behind the toilet looking for her midnight snack.
And honestly, I'm still laughing.
Squeak! Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!
I have a feeling we'll be seeing him again.
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