Cause the Crud just isn't enough...

Just so you all know I have been very absent from the internet the past week. No Twitter, FB, email or blogs... and this is most likely to continue over the next few weeks.

Last Monday, October 26th, my husband was diagnosed with testicular cancer. We spent the week very stressed, scared and freaked out. No surprise there.

Thursday morning we went to the hospital to remove the rotten nut (it's the left one). The surgery went very well the surgeon said he got all the masses removed. We then spent the next 6 hours waiting for a CAT scan and results. About 8:30pm the surgeon called asking for the CAT results, which were not in, he flipped and called them direct and got the results he was asking for immediately. The CAT scan was clear. We were sent home at 9pm.

I had a sore throat Wednesday & Thursday but was plowing through it all because I had to be there for Scott. That was the most important thing to me.

When we finally got home, had scripts, and were 'relaxed' I looked at Scott and said "Can I be sick now?" He laughed and said sure.

That was it for me. I spent the next 3 days in bed or on the couch working from home. Monday I went to doc. Thankfully, I'm kosher - no swine. Just a 'regular' flu. Of course by Monday, Scott had it too. So we got our antibiotics, dosed up and spent more time in bed, sleeping and watching tv.

I'm not better yet, but I'm past contagious and able to function again. Except my ears are so clogged I can barely hear anything.

Last night the surgeon called about 'the testicle'. Scott has cancer. It's the least aggressive type of testicular cancer, but he does have it and it is most likely in his lymph nodes. The CAT scan doesn't show them because of where they are positioned.

Monday we go to the doctor for a follow up on surgery. And to discuss radiation treatments. According to doc, this cancer is very treatable, and can be taken care of with lose dose radiation treatments.

If the lose dose treatments work, it is less then 15% likely the cancer will return. This can and will be beaten. The doc is VERY positive and keeps telling Scott he will be fine, we got it early enough. That's good to hear.

In the meantime with all the stress of home life, and our house having fallen apart in the past week, living in a giant cat box is so much fun, I give you the following.

**Scott did not come up with all of these, those are noted. And you may think we're irreverent and crazy, well, if you didn't, you don't know me. Sometimes you GOTTA laugh or all that happens is tears. ***

SCOTT'S BALLISM'S

Damn, I'm gonna have to change my vernacular to "My BALL itches!"

I can never tell anyone to lick my left testicle again.

I'm glad I'm married and don't have to explain why I have 1 ball when I meet women. (Hockeybuddy added: that 'waiting' period for them to find out on their own would be very uncomfortable)

Guess I won't have to adjust THEM anymore. I mean how do you adjust one. Wouldn't it just be in the right spot all the time?

Should I get a prosthetic?

Hockeybuddy said: Will it throw you off balance when you walk? Will you walk tilted?

What is the sound of one ball slapping? (added: More like a bass drum I bet - I'll find out!)

I was worried if they took both and someone kicked me in the balls, I'd be like SORRY DUDE! and then kick his ass. Heck, if they only take one, guys got a 50-50 chance, how funny would it be to say "Dude, you missed! HA!" then kick his ass.

Guess pocket pinball is out of the question, thank god I grew out of that a long time ago.

If you're cutting out my nut, you OWE me percosets.

Damn Phillies better win this World Series, I'm losing my nut over it!



I would like to thank EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU who have taken my texts in stride, sent prayers, sacrificed chickens, burnt candles, kicked dogs and just been THERE for me this past week. I appreciate every single one of you more then you can imagine. This little paragraph is in no way the best way to thank you all. Without you, I don't even know what state of mind I'd be in.

So take the Ballism's in stride with life. Shit happens. And we'll take it one day at a time.

Until next time - think good thoughts for the whole world. We all need them.