Wenesday full of Words

I know it's Wordless Wednesday, and I usually participate, but I haven't posted yet this week, so I'm doing that instead.

I'm exhausted. Remember that damn Strap On I was so excited for? Well, I'm getting dicked around by the company that provides them. I was supposed to have it June 29th. Got a call that day, "Oh we will call you tomorrow". Never called. I called on July 1st. Was told they double ordered the machine and it was sent to the wrong office. They would call me Monday, July 6th, as the other office was overnighting it, but the holiday.. ya know. Ok.

Monday. No call. I called them. Was told they would call me right back. Guess what. I got a call yesterday (Tuesday, July 7th) at 4:30pm.

Basically, they never ordered the machine. I won't get into their long rambling explanation of warehouses and back orders and priorities (I'm supposed to be a #1 priority). But now it's "sometime next week". Yeah, they apologized, and were nice, but I'm just at the end of my rope.

I feel like one of those old cartoon horses with the carrot dangling in front of me, that I'll never reach.

And now for a bad seque..

Scott is doing well. Went for his follow up for surgery yesterday. Can go back to light duty work (if they have any for him) next week. Can also start driving again, and lifting anything under 100lbs.

I gotta tell you. I'm a spoiled bitch.

I have had to do all of his chores and mine the past two weeks. I can't even keep up. It's insane. Now, I lived alone for years and years and years, and did all these same things just for myself, and had no problems. So I don't quite get why I can't keep up now. But hey, I have come to appreciate what he does way more now.

Hell, I can't even get the lawn mowed. I have to hit up BIL to do it.

And that is why I feel like a total failure these days on top of everything else. I failed. I let myself and my husband/house down. I'm struggling to keep it together.

That is not helping me keep my mental health on the right track either. The overwhelming feelings are well, overwhelming! I feel buried.

Of course that all starts to spiral out of control to other things.

I'm starting a slight paranoia of "Oh shit. What am I doing? I'm forcing people to be my friends! Ok, back off." So I'm crawling into my hermit crab shell for a little bit. I'm freaking out over stupid shit. Blogs and tweets that have nothing to do with me at all, for some reason are just making me wonder. HELLO STUPID! I know they're not, but like I said STUPID. If you see me, you'll see I have the big ole "L" etched into my forehead right now.

I know you're all tired of hearing it. I seem to come here whenever I'm losing my mind and dump it all out. Sorry, but that's how it is today.

And I get to end this day by going to the gynecologist. Oh I can't wait.

Happy Hump Day!


ps. Squeak! has gone the way of the dumpster.... they got him. And a few of his brothers and cousins. Go kitties!