I had a difficult day at work. I was wrong every way I turned. I just couldn't do anything right.
To top it off, I was beating the living shit out of myself. And I had a meeting with my Nutritionist that afternoon.
Work was a pile of up of my hands being tied where they weren't before. Things could be done quickly, now no one has any 'edge' no matter what.
I have been testing my blood for borderline diabetes and changing diet, and exercising. I was getting my groove and I fell off the horse. Literally.
I left work, a little beat up. Drove to the Nutritionist about 20 minutes away.
I sat in the waiting room. Longer then I wanted to, as always. I just sat there with my head in my hands crying.
She was going to tell me that I hadn't been doing enough. She was going to tell me that I needed to do more. She was going to give me a hard time because no matter what I eat, the blood sugar levels aren't going down.
I expected her to give me a hard time. And remind me of the hard facts and reasons I was there to begin with.
I pulled it together right before she came out for me.
She knew the older couple in the waiting room with me, said hi.
She walked me back to the scale. I stepped on. She looked confused, said "Take off your shoes and empty your pockets". I did.
She smiled at me. A beam from ear to ear. I said "not too bad?" She said "Not too bad!? You've lost over 20lbs since you were last here." I was shocked. I KNOW I gained a few last week laying around the house.
We went into her office, had a brief discussion about what happened and how the pain was affecting my blood sugar and stress levels. She gave me some great suggestions on books to help with menus. She encouraged me and reminded me it had only been 5 weeks. That I needed patience, and if I keep with it, I would succeed. We talked for about 15 minutes just talking, food, reactions, how it works with the body. I learned quite a bit.
And I left feeling ok. That this isn't a futile attempt at getting better. That it's real. That the last Asshat doc I saw was just that, an Asshat.
I didn't expect that. I walked in expecting the worse. And I got the best.
Don't expectations always surprise you? Sometimes, they sure do me.
If you don't have any expectations in either direction. You can stay even. I think. Still working on it.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
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10 gimme your words here:
That's awesome, glad that you've found a non ass hat medical professional! :)
Wow! Congratulations! :) YEAH!
YAY! So happy for you. I've been sooo struggling this past month. After feeling like I was making progress I've reverted back to being a lazy sack of shite! Then my mom tells me my cousin has lost 40lbs- boo hoo! I yelled at her that I haven't had gastic bypass so it's a bit different for me!! LOL my poor mom was blind sided she was just giving me some family news and I attack like a rabid dog! Anyhoo I really am proud of you and wish it was me losing the 20 lbs- does that make me as asshat?!?!!!
I always have the worst expectations - that way everything is good news!
Ha
:)
Good job on the 20lbs!
I am SO proud of you ... not just the weight loss which is truly wonderful but your attitude ... coming to realize that just doing it is really what matters and not putting pressure on yourself to excel lets you do just that.
I bet if you'd peed before getting on the scale it would have MINUS 20.5 lbs off ... xoxoxo
Good for you. That feeling of being in control is wonderful.
yay for you, and the dietician!
It is good to see you back, here and everywhere!
Congrats on a good bill of health! That is very encouraging.
I found out yesterday at the doctor that I had gained 17 pounds in 10 weeks. Maybe we are in a symbiotic weight loss/gain phenomenon where when I gain weight, you lose it. I'll try to keep up the pace ;)
5 weeks is enough time to start. But yes, it's hardly any time at all to get anywhere. But you've started: that's the most difficult bit over. Now it's just sheer bloodyminded momentum. ;)
My personal tip: Drink a glass of water with everything - even other drinks. Water is how I kickstarted my weight loss (lost 50lb over about 4 years) - and when you're getting loads of water, you get your energy back as well as filling your stomach and flushing out all the toxins and excess calories. It's the cheapest, easiest way to get healthy. Knock a glass back with everything. In a few weeks, you'll feel profoundly different - profoundly better. I betcha. :)
- Mikeachim (Fevered Mutterings)
I'm giving you a standing ovation right here in my living room.
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